Breach
by Alan Hickerson
Summary: Has James Bond Violated the Official Secrets Act?


Breach

James Bond looked at the document in disgust. He picked it up again. Mulled over its conclusion and threw it down.

……

Analysis of Media exposure and parallel potential of Security breach!

Prepared by Records Department: Multimedia Sub-department: Security Officer:

It has come to the attention of the records department that Her Majesty's Secret Intelligence Service may have a security risk in the Operations Sub-department designated 00.

Evidentiary: The Daily Mail, 8, January 2003, Page 3.

Review of Shag Another Day

Fifty two years ago, Ian Lancaster Fleming, typed the first Austin Powers novel Royale Shag. This erstwhile comedy thriller portrayed the hero of the book as a bumbling British Secret Service agent. This agent had appeared one day from the future via time machine.

The future (1975), a time when the Egypt/ Israeli standoff had escalated into a war that was not supported by the people of the free world. A peace movement had spread through out the free world. Austin Powers was a product of this generation, spreading his word of world peace, free love, and putting down the warmongers of the world.

Flemings prose was so popular that it spawned the 1960's cultural upheavals that occurred during the Vietnam conflict. The Beatles copied Austin's pageboy haircut. Elvis copied his freedom to dance and popularized the pelvic thrust that Ian had suggested as the popular dance of the seventies. And brought the magazine Playboy into the households of the world.

Teaming in later years with the publisher of Playboy magazine, and again later with film producer Kevin McClory, Fleming spawned one of the most profitable film series in history. These films were imitated by several different film companies, causing the spy mania of the late 1960's.

Upon Mr. Fleming's death, Austin Powers was deep frozen along with his nemesis Dr. Evil until the 1990's. John Gardner, the writer of the successful imitation novel series about 'Boise Oakes', took over the reins of the Powers literary storyline in 1977. Awakening in 1997 Powers again took off into the past after Dr. Evil, his clones, and his gang of terrorists. Assaulting the Moon base of Dr. Evil in the novel and subsequent movie 'Man of Mystery'.

Well Mr. McClory has done it again with "Shag Another Day". This time there is a difference, however. Scott Evil has taken the reins of the organization. Dr. Evil shows up in only a few minutes of screen time as Scott freezes him for the foreseeable future. Or until Mr. Myers wishes to don the suit again.

Scott Evil it turns out was behind the September 11, 2001 attacks in the United States, using his Arabic lackey Camel Kahn the real leader of al Queda. Think Osama Ben Ladin portrayed by VJ Armitage. Scott had sent computer operators into the world trade centers that morning to transfer funds from several banks into the accounts of the EVIL empire.

Austin Powers is sent from the year 2020 back to 2002 to stop Scott Evil and Camel Kahn from completing their newest plot. The luscious Jennifer Garner lights up the screen in a role made especially for her with lots of high kicking and close ups. All in all a Two Star movie. Not the Best Austin Powers Movie, but certainly not the worst.

Nigel Broadbutt

See Appendix A for a list of Austin Powers novels and movies.

Appendix A:

Novels by Ian Fleming;

Royale Shag

Live and Let Shag

Shagging is Forever

Moonraper

From Turkey with Undressing

Dr. Evil

Goldmember

Fireballs

The Spy Who Shagged Me

Only For Shagging You

From A Shag To A Kill

Servicing Her Majesty

You Only Shag Once

The Girl With The Golden Bum

The Shagging Nights

The Shagging of a Lady

Sharkshag

General Sin

A Touch of Frost

Novels by John Gardner;

Man Of Mystery

License Revoked

For Shagging Service

Nutbreaker

Never Say Shag Again

Brokenhoof

The Man From Baltimore

Seaflame

Goldenorb

To Shag Is All There Is

Shag Another Day

Shagging Never Dies

The Man with the Red Hickey

Never Dream of Shagging

The Lord of the Ring

Doubleshag

Shag No Flowers

Austin Powers Movies Produced by Kevin McClory

Dr. Evil

Austin Powers: Peter Sellers

Dr. Evil: Joseph Wiseman

No. 2: Jack Lord

Drippy Cooche: Ursula Andress

From Turkey With Undressing

Austin Powers: Peter Sellers

Dr. Evil: Robert Shaw

No. 2: Bob Hope

Bianca Bumchik: Jayne Mansfield

Fireballs

Austin Powers: Peter Sellers

Dr. Evil: Gert Frobe

Fat Bastard: Peter Lore

Ragina Mostley: Honor Blackman

Royale Shag

Austin Powers: Peter Sellers

Dr. Evil: David Niven

Molly MacTarry: Nancy Sinatra

Whisper Wind: Barbara Bouchet

You Only Shag Once

Austin Powers: Peter Sellers

Dr. Evil: Donald Pleasance

No. 2: Sean Connery

Wanda Kissime: Rachel Welch

Servicing Her Majesty

Austin Powers: Benny Hill

Dr. Evil: Telly Savalas

No. 2: Stanley Baker

Countess Comalot: Diana Rigg

Shagging is Forever

Austin Powers: Peter Sellers

Dr. Evil: Micheal Caine

No. 2: Yaphet Kotto

Rosey Cheek: Jill St. John

Live and Let Shag

Austin Powers: Roger Moore

Dr. Evil: Jackie Gleason

No. 2: David Hedison

Miss Knohitall: Jane Seymor

The Girl With The Golden Bottom

Austin Powers: Roger Moore

Dr. Evil: Christopher Lee

Mini Me: Herve Velechez

Miss Chume: Britt Eckland

Moonraper

Austin Powers: Roger Moore

Dr. Evil: Kurt Jurgens

Fat Bastard: Richard Kiel

Miss Givhead: Linda Carter

For Shagging You Only

Austin Powers: Roger Moore

Dr. Evil: Topol

Mini Me: Kenny Baker

Doya Wannme: Caroline Munro

A Shag to a Kill

Austin Powers: Chevy Chase

Dr. Evil: Christopher Walken

Clone: Christopher Walken

Tiffany Shaggit: Farrah Fawcett

Shagging Never Dies

Austin Powers: Chevy Chase

Dr. Evil: Max Von Sydow

No. 2: Klaus Brandaur

Felisha Bushy: Maud Adams

The Shagging Knights

Austin Powers: Pierce Brosnan

Dr. Evil: Jerome Crabbe

No.2: Brian Dennehy

Linda Lovit: Meg Ryan

License Revoked

Austin Powers: Pierce Brosnan

Dr. Evil: Jonothan Pryce

No.2: Robert Wagner

Conchita Valentine: Talia Soto

Never Say Shag Again

Austin Powers: Pierce Brosnan

Dr. Evil: Elton John

No. 2: Robert Wagner

Havalotta Hotsey: Bridget Nielson

Goldenorb

Austin Powers: Pierce Brosnan

Dr. Evil: John Candy

General Orb: Sean Bean

Strawberry Von Rothschild: Drew Barrymore

Man of Mystery

Austin Powers: Mike Myers

Dr. Evil: Mike Myers

No. 2: Robert Wagner

Carlotta Fagina: Lana Wood

The Spy Who Shagged Me

Austin Powers: Mike Myers

Dr. Evil: Mike Myers

No. 2: Rob Lowe

Miss Shagwell: Heather Graham

Goldmember

Austin Powers: Mike Myers

Dr. Evil: Mike Myers

Scott Evil: Seth Green

Foxy Cleopatra: Beyonce Knowles

Shag Another Day

Austin Powers: Mike Myers

Scott Evil: Seth Green

Camel Kahn: VJ Armitage

Jucy Loosie: Jennifer Garner

Sub-Department Summary:

In a recent vetting procedure it was noted that one of the longtime members of the OO sub-department was on friendly terms with Mr. Ian Fleming. This Officer has had many operational roles and if it were not for the fact that many of Mr. Flemings descriptions of certain events (The V2 Rocket launched toward London in Live and Let Shag Was written in 1953/ The Moonraker Rocket was launched in 1954)

Simply a case of life imitating art, or Mr. Drax reading Mr. Fleming for ideas. However we feel that this case is different. Prince Kamal Kahn tried to detonate a nuclear bomb in 1986, and this newest movie "Shag Another Day" portrays Sheik Camel Kahn as wanting to detonate a nuclear bomb. It is our position that a possible security leak has occurred in the OO sub-department, perhaps the Officer himself.

Frank Smallfoot

Media Officer

Although this officer has strained the bounds of employment on Her Majesty's Secret Intelligence Service in the past, there has never been anytime recorded or hinted about regarding this officer's oath of Official Secrets. In fact this officer and many others in the operations departments are publicly ridiculed and damaged by these spurious films and their ilk. In fact, these films are previewed by our agent, in the Standards office of this country. The film in question used the name "Camel" in a racist mode not as a substitute for a specific individual. They were allowed to use it when they changed it from "Cameldung" which was deemed too offensive.

Charles Robinson

Operations Director

M

Chief of Service

….

Bond thought to himself "Way to tell him Charles!" He picked up the document and tossed it into the round file.


End file.
